So this past Sunday, Easter Sunday (Happy Easter by the way, lovelies!) I turned 19! Yes Sweethearts, it has been 19 years since I was brought into this beautiful world and made to experience this sometimes fabulous earth. Although the journey has not exactly been smooth sailing , I can honestly say so far it has been a good run. When I was asked, as I usually am every year, if I feel any different than I did 24 hours before, I laughingly said no. However, when I really sat down to think about everything that had happened since my last birthday, I realised that I do feel very differently about many things in my life now and that I am a very different person now. I have realised the following about myself:
- If I can't give my all in a relationship, I shouldn't be in it. People I care about and that I know care about me deserve the time and effort I need to bring the relationship to 100% and not 50%.
- I am a lot stronger than I appear to be. I may groan about whatever life throws at me, it may appear to totally shake my beliefs and destroy my self esteem, but at the end of it all I will come out in one piece. I will survive.
- My heart is not irreparably broken. It is still full of so much love despite all the experiences that have tried to take this love away.
- My dreams are not just talk. I do have the potential to achieve them and the desire and ability to see them through. I learnt this from this blog. I count this among one of my biggest personal achievements of the past year, and many people who know me will agree. I am the sort of person that has big dreams and visions and starts off really strong but soon loses the will to follow through. As a result I have a lot of half-finished projects left behind in the path of my life, but I am so happy to say that this blog is not and will not be one of them. My love for writing and self expression got me started on this blog but what keeps me coming back is the fact that I know you are here my darling devotees. You are the ones who get me through the rough patches when I feel myself begin to stray and the fact I am still motivated to continue blogging really is a testimony to the beautiful people you all are.
- Although I strive for more from my life and desire to be better, I really am beautiful the way I am now. I find this is true for all the people I know. It is all about loving self love. If you love yourself, I find that you can and will be able to love others more.
I let myself look back at all of the past experiences of the last year that have brought me to where I am today and much like my darling Mia Thermopolis from Princess Diaries, I have discovered that I am a lot more closer to the elusive goal of 'self actualisation' than I was last year. I may not have reached it yet and it may still be in the distance, but I am getting there. For now, that is enough.
Love you all and Stay inspired,
P.S. Welcome to all my new devotees! You bring sunshine to my day :)