Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Love and Relationships- Music Therapy part 3- Working through a break-up

If you haven't already, you can read the prequels to this post, Music Therapy part 1 and 2 here.

Music has always been a big part of my life. From the little girl that used to sing Pocahontas songs in front of her dad's friends ( I've seen pictures!!!) to the young adult that now writes songs and records music, I've always seen it as a way to express myself. The lyrics, the voices, the instruments, everything just connects with me deeply. This is why, when I go through a break-up, I try to ease the pain and speed up the healing process by listening to a certain soundtrack that I've compiled as my 'break-up soundtrack'. I've been using these songs for a couple of years now and I can honestly say they help me put everything into perspective.

The track has two parts: the first is made up of all Mariah Carey songs and is sort of a quick summary of the whole process; the second is made up of Kelly Clarkson songs and lets me go through process at a slower rate. By the second part, I've usually pulled myself together. The songs are:
  • It's like that-Mariah Carey: When I listen to this song I remember the first time 'we' met ('we' in reference to the guy and I). It reminds me of the excitement, the interest, the chemical attraction, the frisson from across the room and the sense that you've just met someone with the ability to impact your life in a big way. I'm usually pretty upset at this part but it helps me acknowledge the reality of the situation.

  • We belong together- same singer: By this point I just let myself feel the pain and allow the grieving to take place.
  • Shake it off- same singer: This song shows me that I need to get back on my feet and move on with life.

  • Because of you-Kelly Clarkson: This is when I'm just blaming him for the demise of the relationship. It's a lot of anger, but mostly hurt.

  • Behind these Hazel Eyes-Kelly Clarkson : This is when I sort of fantasize the relationship, making it out to be perfect when it wasn't. Here I ask myself how I'll be able to live without him. I feel only hurt here.

  • Since you been gone-Kelly Clarkson:This is all about how much better I feel now that I'm without him. It's all anger but it also signals that I'm beginning to move on.

  • Breakaway-Kelly Clarkson:This is when I start to picture myself as ready to move on, by letting go of all the bad feelings.
  • Walk away-Kelly Clarkson : This song symbolises complete freedom of the relationship, and total independence. It's when I feel like I no longer need to stalk his facebook page, or follow his twitter, or hang on to any of the threads of the relationship. Total liberation!

Now, I'm not saying that by simply going through this soundtrack I become magically healed. After all, these things do take time. It's like I said before, I see it as a form of therapy and one that isn't going to break my bank or tip my scales anytime soon.

(Photo from: bored-now)

Love you all and Stay inspired,

P.S. So let me know what you think. What's your favorite form of therapy? How do you get through a breakup? What songs would be on your 'break-up soundtrack'? Feel free to let me know in the comments below.

Du Papillon Delights

It was a rather uneventful day for me yesterday now that the Christmas shopping madness is over and done with and for once there seemed to be hardly anything new to go ga-ga over. But then, out of the blue, I received this notice about a shop, Du Papillon (which I'm embarrassed to say I had never heard of till now), and was delighted to find adorable little dresses in pretty colours at very affordable prices over there with quite a few dollarbies and a cute little freebie for group members too. I also decided to try a new skin from Free Speerit for a change...

Dress: Spring Breeze from Du Papillon--1L
Shoes: New Basic Heels (orange) from MorganeParis--previous gift
Hair: Elise from Free Speerit--free
Jewellery: Multi Moonstone Diamond set from Alienbear--free

Dress: Daisy Dress from Du Papillon--1L
Hair: Ajilee from HCT
Shoes: Laila from VDI

Dress: Velvet Butterflies (includes butterfly tatoo not worn here) from Du Papillon--group gift
Hair: Lyrlia from Free Speerit--free
Jewellery: Princess Emma Pearl Diamond set from My Precious

Skin worn in all pics: Maya pale prototype (glamour) from Free Speerit--group gift
Eyes worn in all pics: Slate from Oceane--10L (Christmas hunt)


Monday, December 28, 2009

Seeking Inspiration: Get up and Go

Dearest Devotees,

It's over - or at least it will soon be - and thankfully, I'm not alone in believing that this year has gone by too quickly. That is not to say I won't be glad to see it leave. Life is all about moving forward, after all, and although I have learnt a lot this year from my experiences, I'm glad to have a clean slate. That's why my song of the week is Go sung by Boys Like Girls. It's all about turning a new leaf and learning from your past. It has even inspired me to make a list of all the lessons life taught me this year, and to acknowledge them so that I can be grateful for them and not make any of the same mistakes again. So without further ado, here's my list:

  • Never settle for anything less than what I deserve: I mean I've already got high standards for myself. If I get anything below a B+ in subjects I'm generally not good in like the sciences, and anything less than an A in subjects I am good in like literature, and other arty subjects, I practically berate myself. But, when it comes to guys, for whatever reason, I allow my standards to fall. I dated someone that I knew wasn't who I should be with, and stayed with them just because it was comfortable. You know it's bad when someone who doesn't even know your boyfriend tells you (through the aid of tarrot cards, no less), that you need to raise your standards where men are concerned. Needless to say it ended badly (reminiscent of stalker-ex boyfriend movies) and I can now honestly say I've never appreciated being single so much before. It was very scary but at least I've learnt from this experience.

  • Give myself a break: I really am my own harshest critic and after having several people (including one of my oldest friends and several of my academic advisors when I told them how I wanted to complete 2 degrees and a minor in 3 years) tell me that I really do push myself too hard, I decided that its ok to give myself a break every once in awhile. Also, that I should learn to adapt my personal standards to every different situation.

  • Become more accepting of myself: To some this may sound like the last point but its really not. You see, after having breathing difficulties and being disagnosed with asthma, I was told that I show a lot of the symptoms associated with adult ADHD (attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder). ADHD occurs because a difference in the chemicals and the positioning of neurons and neurochemicals in the brain.

Common symptoms include: carelessness and lack of attention to detail,
continually starting new tasks before finishing old ones,poor organisational skills, inability to focus, or prioritise, lateness to activities, continually losing, or misplacing, things,forgetfulness, inability to complete tasks or stick with tasks, and sometimes depression as a result of the condition. Its not a disease but a developmental disorder and apparently I've probably had it since I was a little kid, but was diagnosed since in girls its usually shows in their quiet and dreamy demeanor instead of the more disruptive forms. I'm getting officially tested soon but either way, I've decided I'm just going to learn to work with it and be more accepting of things that I just can't do.

  • Do more of the things I like and not what I think I should do: I almost became a double major in journalism just because I thought it would look good. I was so convinced that it was the right thing to do, that it took me several days of career testing and interest evaluating for me to realise that I want to be my own boss and I just can't do that in traditional print journalism. I still love media literacy and writing though, so I'm a film studies minor instead of an journalism double major.

So goodbye 2009. Thanks for the memories.

But before I end this unusually long post (I'm sorry. I got a little carried away), here are some of the links that inspired me this week:

  • Get up and Go...to the café: Ah, the café. The stereotypical artist haven, where those seeking inspiration go to observe life in a cosy, warm and friendly environment. This article by Café Fashionista has moved me to rediscover the magic of my neighbourhood café.

  • Maybe its just me, but I think using Kool-aid as clothing dye is pretty fascinating. This is one of the DIY projects I want to try out as soon as possible.

  • Need somewhere cute to keep your supplies? The monkeybasket blog has just the thing.

(Photos from: Teerish on flickr and Stuckincustoms)

This place reminds me of Northern Ireland , my favorite place in the world.

Love you all and Stay inspired,

P.S. So let me know what you think. Did the year go by too fast? What did you learn from your past experiences this year? Did you learn anything new about yourself this year and if so, what? Feel free to let me know in the comments below.

Gold Rush

Here are some lovely gold dresses that I picked up during the past week:-

Dress: Golden Dress from Reale--gift
Shoes: Bare Greta (gold patent) from Stiletto Moody
Earrings: Celtic Small Pearl Gold Earrings from Jewelry by Zuri Rayna--gift
Hair: Moni from Groovygirl--1L

Dress: Regalino 17 (with three skirt options) from Rue DAntibes--gift
Shoes: Stiletto Leopard from MEB--free
Necklace and Bracelet: Tish Pearl Set from DM Designs--subscriber gift
Hair: Brandi from Groovygirl--1L

Dress: Deserto (includes two skirt options and matching shoes) from Gold in the Night
Earrings: Gold Double Loop from Iced
Hair: Fly from Tekuteku

Saturday, December 26, 2009

How to Budget Shop: Sales, Thrift stores and Shopping Your Closet

This is part 3 of the Budget Shopping series. If you haven't already, please check out part 1- How to Budget Shop: The Rules, and part 2- How to Budget Shop: Investment Pieces, Basics and Classics.

A major part of budget shopping is knowing how to make use of your limited resources and stretching these resources as far as they can go. This is why knowing how to make the most of sales, thrift stores and your personal closet is so important. The better you utilise these low cost places the less money you will spend on trying to achieve that 'whole new look' every morning.

Sales: Black Friday, Cyber Monday, and all the sales we know and love:
Everyone loves a good sale so I'm not about to tell you not to indulge. I mean what's not to love?Its the perfect opportunity for a little retail therapy without the accompanying debt. However, if you don't keep the following things in mind you may end up with a more chaotic wardrobe situation than you bargained for.

  • Always ask yourself how much of the trend factor does the item have- truth is, if its on sale the trend really is on it's way out anyway. However, if it is currently a trend, is on sale, but suits you and flows with your personal style buy it anyway because its a deal.

  • Remember the cost-per-wear (or use): If it's on sale because its already defunct, really low quality or won't last as long as you'd like please pass it over. Because, even if it cost $1 and you only wore it once, instead of buying the $7 sister, you would have worn at least 14 times, it still wasn't worth the $1 you paid for it.(Do the math)

  • Don't leave the list at home: It'll stop you from buying things you just don't need, in the heat of the moment.

  • This is perfect time to buy your classics and basics, investment pieces will have an even greater cost-per-wear than they have usually.

  • Don't rush to the cashier: Please try it on when possible, and if you can't try to visualise yourself wearing it. How do you look? Does it flow with the rest of your wardrobe? If not, its a no.

Thrift stores, vintage shops and other discount stores:

From Ebay, Amazon and Etsy to your local thrift store, discount stores are the not-so-secret gold mines of many a budget fashionista. Whenever I walk into (or end up on) one, I feel like a child let loose in a candy store, on a mission to discover the next precious treasure to add to my wardrobe. A few tips to improve your next shopping trip include:

  • When shopping online look for sellers with a good reputation and a good return policy.

  • Look for quality material first before anything else: if the material is still good it can be fitted to your size or used in a DIY project.

  • Be resilient: It took me a couple of days of rummaging through several flea markets and vintage shops to find the brooch of my dreams.

  • Classics (not really basics though) and unusual accessories that reflect your style are things you should keep an eye out for when shopping in these stores.

Shopping your closet:
For a lot of people the idea of 'shopping your closet' became real when the recession hit. 'Shopping your closet' is when you arrange your closet in such a way that it becomes very clear to know what you have and what is available to you, so that coming up with an outfit becomes a whole lot easier. Also, when your wardrobe mimics the clarity of your favorite store, it is easier to identify the gaps in it, which will enable you to know what to buy the next time you shop.

  • Hangs ties, scarves and belts so you can easily get to and see them.

  • Hang long necklaces and earrings on jewelry trees if you can.

  • You can pin smaller earrings on a board or something similar.

  • Keep rings in a little partitioned drawer if you can.

  • Hang as many clothes as you can.

  • Get rid of any and everything you haven't worn in at least a year.

  • Keep similar items together.

  • Store away things you will not use for awhile e.g. winter clothes in summer.

On the next part of this series I will talk about making the ultimate shopping list, budgetting and the financial nitty-gritty in budget shopping. If you liked this post and what to follow the series, follow this blog either by email or using one of the RSS feed links in the sidebars.

Love you all and Stay inspired,

P.S. So let me know what you think. Do you shop your closet? What are your favorite budget shopping venues? What's the best thing you've ever got on sale? Feel free to let me know in the comments below.

(Photos from: drinksmachine and zach_machester)

Friday, December 25, 2009

Farvel, Aleida!

A few days ago, one of SL's most talented designers, Aleida Rhode, sent me this box of clothes, not for review, but for me to blog about the closure of her shop Aleida and to announce a huge store-wide sale of 40% to 60% on everything, including skins, from now to 31st December. Usually I would have been over the moon to receive such gorgeous items, but this was not exactly music to my ears--I mean, Aleida is giving up her shop here in SL, and I'm really going to miss her great craftsmanship, attention to detail and unique yet classy designs which are, by far, almost unparalleled in all of SL (in my opinion, at least). Take a look at some of the items that will be on sale at Aleida:-

Lily gowns (Fly Hair from Tekuteku):

Rudolf gowns (Gloss hair from Tekuteku):

Jonan minidresses (Mala Naturals Jewellery from Mashooka and 037 Hair from White Well):

Five different shades of Gulu Capri with Ray Shirts (in six shades) which were never released (Gingko Hair from Tukinowaguma):

...and there's more at the shop!! So hurry down to Aleida before everything disappears! Remember, last day of sale is 31st December 2009! And with this, may I wish Aleida the very best in all her future endeavours, and may she enjoy a well-deserved break back home in Denmark--you will be greatly missed Aleida!! *hugs & kisses*

Green Movement

I usually don't fancy the colour green much, it reminds me of things which are quite negative--slime, mucous (yuks!), not to mention 'green with envy' *grins*, though I'm starting to appreciate greenery much more even though I've always been a city girl at heart, thanks to my dear Erwin who loves nature and lots (and I mean lots) of thick, lush vegetation (gulps)!! And thanks to these generous designers, I now have quite a few lovely green items in my wardrobe too:-

Dress: Audrey from Prism (comes with matching gloves and two top options)--Christmas gift
Shoes: Bows from Heart & Sole--MM gift
Hair: Zita from Magika--10L
Jewellery: Sorcerous Diamond set from Jewelry by Zuri Rayna--Christmas gift

Gown: from Glitterati--December 2009 gift
Jewellery: Kiss of Camelot Olive Sapphire from J and W--10L special price
Hair: W's Hair 001 Sepia from Umi Usagi

Dress: Wink Spearmint from Ali Couture--10L (Winks Hunt)
Shoes: Fabgreen Lace Trim Pumps from !SSUS!--gift
Hair: Lulu from Magika
Pose: Kiss the Candy (includes candy cane) from A.D.D. Andel!--group gift

Merry Christmas everyone!!!


Thursday, December 24, 2009

A Day in the Life: Merry Christmas!!!!

Dearest Devotees,

This is just to wish you a Merry Christmas my darlings! Thank you so much for following my blog and I hope that you have a fabulous day. I'll be back with a regular post tomorrow, ciao!

Love and Relationships: Destiny, the One and Kindred spirits

I know it's been awhile since I've posted an L&R post but that's because I have just not been moved to do so. After all, this is a personal blog and it reflects me and my experiences no matter how indirectly they are linked sometimes. Basically, I'm single again and working on getting myself back on track while trying to maintain and improve the relationships I've developed with my lovely friends in Boston. It's partially because of good experiences with these friends and because of the song of the week: Collide by Howie Day (see: Seeking Inspiration: Collide ), that I now feel ready to explore this topic.

Like I mentioned before, Collide is essentially about two people with different personalities, realising that it is their differences that make them so good for each other, and this led me to think about the concepts of destiny and fate. I mean they are such popular concepts used in all sorts of media to idealise love, both romantic and otherwise. From magazine articles to popular romantic comedies, people are shown as constantly looking for 'The One', i.e. the person that each person is supposed to spend their life. Sometimes they get so immersed in this search they forgot that their life is actually taking place while they search and is not on hold. They forget that even if there is a special person that they are destined to be with, and they do find this person (and I hope everyone does), you can't depend solely on this person to make you happy.

I believe that you have to take responsibility of your own happiness and this can partly be done by ensuring you also find true friends that will stick with you through the good times and the bad. I mean I am definitely yet to meet my 'One' but I'm pretty sure I've met quite a few people that represent these true friends for me. In fact, there have been times when, at first glance I meet someone, and we seem total opposites, but as I get to know the person I soon realise that we have more things in common than we don't. I like to call these people my 'kindred spirits' because if and when they become your really close friends, they tend to understand you in a way that few others can and knowing that such people exist can give you a sense of belonging and support that you will always need whether you are in a romantic relationship or not.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that, its really good to believe that you were destined to be someone special but I'm pretty sure you will love life more if you strive to grow in your friendships and work on your hobbies while growing in your romantic relationships.

Love you all and Stay inspired,

P.S. So let me know what you think
. Do you believe in love at first sight? Destiny? Have you ever met a kindred spirit? How did you meet? Have you met the one? How did you know? Feel free to let me know in the comments below.
(Photo from: Shanissinha)

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Some ElaCor Favourites Part 2

Here I am at Miranda's 4 Seasons Dreamworld Forest, enjoying the beautiful sim which, as the name suggests, offers four picturesque seasonal landscapes, all of which are certain to take your breath away...and again, I am showcasing more of my favourites from ElaCor...

Dress: Lorella from ElaCor (belt included)--only 1L!
Hair: Kikyo from AY.LinE--gift
Necklace: Cross Chain from Icewerk
Bracelet: Ornate and Black Pearl bracelet from Aluinn--gift
Earring: Ringring from Perturb/ation--previous gift
Shoes: Gifted (black) from Heart & Sole--100L special price

Dress: Luna 3 Salmone from ElaCor (includes flower hair accessory, flower choker, corsage on front and back, flower bracelet)
Hair: Spica from Tekuteku
Shoes: Prissy (deep peach) from VDI

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Some ElaCor Favourites Part 1

When I first came across ElaCor, I was quickly won over by the amazing unique designs at very affordable prices, and now, the store has expanded in more ways than one, selling not just clothes, but also skins, boots, and even men's fashion. Their prices have remained competitive, and there are even clothes going for 20L or less!

Here is my latest purchase:-
Dress: Vestito Barbie from ElaCor (includes bow, necklace, belt and shoes)--99L
Bracelet: Innocence from DivaLicious--previous gift
Hair: Irregular from Tekuteku

Monday, December 21, 2009

Delightful Indeed!

Just gotta have this!!!

Dress: Christmas Delight from Vita's Boudoir--Christmas gift
Booties: Xmas Booties from Step Ahead--FREE!!
Necklace: Alba Necklace from Donna Flora--1L
Hair: from Tekuteku--FREE!!