Love and Relationships- Thoughts on Love

The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and
richness to life that nothing else can bring.

-- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Irish Dramatist and Poet

Love you all and Stay Inspired,

Dreaming of the Show: The Abuser from Love the Way You Lie

When I first started doing the Dreaming of the Show posts, I said that I would not only design for characters from traditional plays like Romeo and Juliet and Hamlet, but that I would also design for characters from popular culture such as TV shows and music videos for relatively recent songs. I've always had a thing for literary analysis but after my first class in media literacy and analysis I've been hooked. For those who are unfamiliar with the field, media literacy is a field that analyzes, evaluates and creates messages in a variety of form- from print to video. I like to think of it as a way of understanding society and people by unearthing the hidden meanings in modern media, movies, music and entertainment. The understanding gained from this analysis is the first step to accurately portraying a character through the costume.

Ever since I heard the song Love the Way You Lie performed by Eminem and Rihanna, I have loved it for its depth and meaning. It has a very strong and clear message about domestic abuse and the shock effect of the song's presentation actually forces people to listen to the message. Before the real video came out I had some ideas of how I would have liked the video to be. The way in which I would have liked to portray the character of the abuser in particular was important to me and this is what I will share with you in this post.

Character: The Abuser from Love the Way You lie- Eminem ft Rihanna

Time and Place I would set it in: Modern day Western World

Plot summary:

The story tells the complicated and often misunderstood relationship of the abuser and the abused in domestic violence cases. It talks about how both parties are aware of the toxic nature of their relationship but are still unable to leave. On some level they both know that their relationship is incredibly dangerous, but they love the drama and the intensity too much to walk away. The abuser claims that he hates what he does but that he is so dependent on their relationship that he cannot leave it and when he gets mad at her, the intensity of his rage clouds his judgment so much that it turns him into someone he cannot recognize. He claims that he will change and that he will never hurt the abused again, but both of them realize that it's all a lie and that he won't change. In the third verse the abuser goes through a state of denial with the abused by saying that its possible their relationship really isn't so bad, and that maybe its so intense because of their intense personalities but at the end of everything he admits that he knows that he is lying and that if she ever tries to escape from him he will kill her. Throughout the song the abused supports his statements by repeating that it’s alright if he watches her suffer because she loves the way he lies.

Character Summary:

To me, the abuser seems like someone who truly seems to have two widely different personalities: a public and a private one. I imagine that his public personality makes him seem like a normal guy. He'd probably be very charismatic and even personable. He'd seem very put together and self aware with a clear goal and ambition in life and all of these amazing qualities would make him very appealing to women. He'd probably be a charmer and romance them into his life, lulling them into a false sense of security. Then once they feel like they have found the perfect man, he would slowly start to change. I don't think he would brutally hurt them at first. I imagine he would probably start with by verbally assaulting them/ pushing them around, but before you know it would escalate until she's become too scared to run away.

Keywords to Describe Him

Public persona- charismatic, well dressed, put together, cheerful, friendly, kind and stable

Private persona- menacing, frigtening, domineering, unstable, overcome with rage, monsterous.

Key Elements to His Style

Checked Shirts

Classic Blue Jeans

Classic Mens button down shirt in neutrals and light blue

Tailored Suits worn with close collared shirts and ties

Italian style leather shoes

Quality timeless watch

Large but simple silver ring

Inconspicuous piercings that can be hidden under most clothes.

The Abuser to me:

Note: The pictures below are not of people who I think could be abusers. I do not intend to offend anyone. The sole purpose of the pictures is to give you an idea of the contrast between the abusers two personalities. It is to show that the abuser may seem normal and even successful, enviable and charming to most people but that this persona is shed behind closed doors and this is symbolically shown through the unbuttoning of the shirt and the shedding of the jacket, tie and belt to reveal his once hidden piercings and formerly contained muscles that are now emphasized with the aid of the neutral vest.

Love you all and Stay inspired,

P.S. So let me know what you think. How do you think the abuser should have been portrayed in the music video of Love the Way You Lie ? Have you watched the video? What do you think about it? Feel free to let me know in the comments below.

Photos from: We Heart it

Love and Relationships: Music Therapy Part 4- Indie Music Love

Dearest Devotees,

In keeping with Indie Appreciation Week, here are some of my favorite indie-related songs. Some of them are by undiscovered/independent musicians, some of them have certain musical qualities (usually acoustic/ primarily vocal leanings) that lend them to being classified as "indie", and the rest of them are just songs that I feel somehow celebrate being independent. I'm also borrowing the idea of Krissy from Shimmer Like Gold, and have included links

to a complete playlist of all the songs on youtube that I will link to at the bottom of this post. Feel free to play these songs while cross-training your art, doing chores/ homework, or doing nothing at all but relaxing. Remember that if you feel constrained by the walls, there's no time like the summer to take full advantage of the great outdoors.

I hope these songs send you to your happy and proud to be independent place too :)

1. Staind - Everything Changes
2. Duet With Myself-Charlie McDonell
3. Boy With A Coin- Iron and Wine
4. Train - Hey Soul Sister (Lyrics)
5. Miley Cyrus - My Last Song for Miley (Dave Days)
6. Enya - Only Time (Original)
7. Matt Hires - Honey Let me sing you a song + Lyrics
8. ARIA ASIA - Gypsy Girl
9. Ingrid Michaelson- The Way I Am
10. Flyleaf - Penholder | With Lyrics
11. Winter Song - Sara Bareilles/Ingrid Michaelson- Music Video
12. Ingrid Michaelson - Maybe (Official Music Video)
13. Running away ~ Midnight Hour (Lyrics)
14. Michael Bublé - Haven't Met You Yet [OFFICIAL VIDEO]
15. one more- superchick
16. Hope 7-I want Everything
17. Furlough Behind The Scenes at Showcase Minnesota
18. Carolina Liar - When You Are Near lyrics
19. Sing Me a Love Song- BarlowGirl
20. Barlow Girl - Never Alone (Acoustic)
21. 04 Yiruma: River Flows In You
22. Howie Day - Collide
23. Howie Day - She Says
24. Iris Music Video - City Of Angels
25. Lene Marlin - Here We Are (Official Video)
26. All She Wrote- Ross Coperman
27. Sandi Thom - What if I'm right? [music video]
28. Gary Go - Wonderful

To listen to it all on youtube click here.

Love you all and Stay inspired,

P.S. So let me know what you think. What are some hidden jewel bands that make you feel empowered, or moved? What kind of music moves you most? Feel free to let me know in the comments below.

Photos from: We Heart It

Love and Relationships: Your words

Photo from:ohcestane

Your words

Can break me

Or

Save me…

Which will it be?

Love you all and Stay inspired,

P.S. I'm sorry sweethearts I have been AWOL this week. All my major final projects and final performances are happening all through next week so I've been ridiculously busy. Please keep me in your prayers and/or hearts. I'll continue to blog despite it all (take that, crazy art classes) but will blog more frequently by the end of next week. Have a fabulous week.

Photos from: We Heart it

Seeking Inspiration: Only Time will tell

Photo from: Jessica Ortwerth

Dearest Devotees,

As I lie here in my bed, with my Lifehouse station on Pandora playing in the background, I think about all the lessons I've learnt from music. Sometimes, music leads me to self-discovery by acting as a mirror that reflects my feelings exactly. Sometimes it plays the part of the dutiful best friend that commiserates with me in hard times and celebrates good experiences with me. When I say that music is the inspiration, I really mean it because something about the music I listen to, whether it be the harmonies, melodies, or the lyrics, always gets me thinking. One of the most recent life discoveries I made was about time and its ability to put everything in perspective. The song is Only Time by Enya.

No one knows what tomorrow brings. Life is a long term project. The little things you do today, and everything that happens in your life each day, doesn't only affect you now but has some impact on who you are and who you will be in the future. In the short term, experiences are usually either positive or negative but this clear cut line tends to blur over time. For example, hurtful experiences in the present could make you a little more tentative about sharing yourself with others but they could also make you stronger against adversity. I really believe that good can come out of the bad in our lives. I also believe, that only time will tell if the bad or good experiences of today will become masterpieces of tomorrow. Earlier this week, I had a really bad relational experience with a guy friend of mine and it really shook me, so much so that it brought me to tears. I'm better now my darlings, but one of the good things that has come from this experience (aside from inner strength and increased closeness to God) is the strong feeling that in time it will push me to create a beautiful piece of art, maybe a song or a poem. Never Again, my new song, was taken in a totally new direction because of it . It's the most intense rock song I've ever written and I'm really excited to see how it turns out. But, I digress.

So darlings, the summary of all this is that only time will tell if what happens today will influence you more positively or negatively. Since art is bred from strong emotions, anything that affects us strongly is able to result in art, be it a poem on the joy of falling in love or even a presently funny story about an embarrassing blind date gone sour. Most importantly, remember that the past is past, don't dwell on it or fret about it. Instead face each day with a clean state and positive outlook on what lies ahead, and your journey through life will certainly be a happier and more fulfilled one.

***

Inspirational exercise for the week

Translate this picture into your favorite art form.

Photo from: we heart it

My translation

To all the guys who broke my heart and the girls who are like me,

I found him.

My soulmate.

I know it sounds odd, particularly to all you guys out there. After all, I was the girl that everyone sorta dated but never committed to. I was always the close-female friend-sorta girl friend type and never more. It started to get to me. I started wondering if I would ever find someone who truly loved. I began to despair.

Then, I met him.

He challenges my mind. He accepts my individuality and loves my quirks. He encourages my wild and crazy dreams. He loves me fully and completely, and I love him.

How can I not?

He is everything I ever wanted and more. I know he's not a dream because I could never have imagined someone so perfect for me. I give him my all, and he gives me his everything. We are completely in sync and perfectly in tune with each other. Our love is forever.

So to the girls who are like me, know this: Love is real. It exists and it will exist for you.

Have hope.

***

Links I've loved lately:

This post on Click, Click went the needles is so full of sources of inspiration, it's astounding.

A of The Glamorous Grad Student really made me reflect on the words "retail therapy" in this post.

I just loved reading about where my lovely Zmaga hopes to be in 10 years.

Cafe Fashionista's new What if posts are so exciting! They give me license to let my mind wander.

This list on how to have more energy by Jacque of A Quirky Girl's Thoughts is just what I need right now.

I always wanted a Unicorn too, dearest Krissy :)

Love you all and Stay inspired,

P.S. So let me know what you think. How did you translate the picture above? How do you view your experiences? Do you tend to dwell in the day or look forward to the future? What inspired you this week? Feel free to let me know in the comments below.

P.P.S Welcome to all my new devotees! You make me very happy!!!! I love you already :)

Seeking Inspiration:Everything is Art

Dearest Devotees,

Is everything art? Does everything have artistic/inspirational potential? These are questions I've been thinking a lot about lately, especially in the past week. So far every answer I've come up with has just led me to more questions. Right now, I'm reading a career book that claims that a lot of not obviously artistic careers like psychology, biology and economics (My major and I never knew!) do have artistic components. If this is true, the next most logical question I could think of was what is art? I think of it as ways in which you express your emotions, feelings and self, but apparently this definition can run you into several problems. For example you express yourself through body language, therefore is body language an art? Also if you are a particularly artistic individual who tends to express your stronger emotions in your favorite art form (dance, music, poetry, etc) and you encounter a situation, such as a relationship that does not move you to art does that mean you are not invested enough in or moved enough by the situation? Hmmm....

Anyway, here is a potluck of all my favourite sources of inspiration in the past week:

Music:

Monday Morning- Melanie Fiona

Dear Maria Count me in- All Time Low (I am a total sucker for the pin up look in the video. Also the song really makes me think of a 50s style pancake house for whatever reason...)

Naive- The Kooks

Wavin' Flag- Young Artists For Haiti- Such a great song!

Photographic Inspiration

Seeking inspiration assignment: Choose any of the pictures in this section to inspire your next piece of art.

My translation;

You may think I'm crazy.

Many people do, but answer me this. Is it crazy to give up everything you've got, risk everything you have to get something you desire with your all? Maybe it is. Maybe it would be better for me to ''play it safe'', to go to college, get a degree in a secure field I lack passion for, maybe accounting, and spend the rest of my life seeking happiness and a sense of fulfillment from things I know will not fulfill me. Then maybe, just maybe when they lay me off during the next recession, as I am 3 years away from retirement, and no longer have any expectations to live up to, I will be finally able to do what I want. Live the way I have always desired to live and be the person I have forever longed to be.

I could wait for that day.

Or I could skip all the years of torment and torture, save myself from all that regret and take that chance today.

I may fall on face.

I may not succeed.

I may have to sleep in fields under makeshift tents for a while.

But don't judge me or pity me, because I will be happy.

Doing what I love or at least trying to get there.

And that's all that matters.

Links I loved

Fashion inspired by Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland by College Fashion (couldn’t resist)

I love Match.com's latest advert. Can you say uber indie cute?!

Chicken soup for the dorky soul has some great ideas on how to stay in touch with your far away friends.

Zen Habits has some amazing tips on how to reclaim your attention. They really make you think.

I love this post on rocking heels by Golden Means.

Looking for something new to do with your girlfriends? Check out this post by Ashe Mischief.

I heart this girl's blog! It is so cute and happy and all of the fabulous and fun things in life.

All images from we heart it

Love you all and Stay inspired,

P.S. So let me know what you think. What inspired you this week? Feel free to let me know in the comments below.

Love and Relationships: When you speak..

Photo from: we heart it

When you speak

you unlock something

inside

of

me.

Love and Relationships: Rainbows

Photo from: We Heart it

...And, when I see

a Rainbow

I think of you.

Love you all and Stay inspired,

Fictional Characters I have been or currently am in love with

Photo from: craftmaster

Now I not I'm not the only one that has ever had a major crush on a fictional character, despite the fact I am very aware the person does not exist(at least in this world) and can not in fact return my feelings for him. This awareness has not been enough to stop me from practically spontaneously combusting when I see these characters. Nor has it been proof enough to dissuade me from planning alternate realities in which we can live happily ever after. It's not that I have anything against real men per se and in fact if anyone knows someone who possesses most of the human traits of these characters, call me. Just joking (not really :P).

5. Elliot from Mew Mew Power : It was love at first sight. His gorgeous blond hair, and long, lean physique only added to the overpowering aura of mystery and air of mystique that surrounded him. Co-guardian of the crew and secret protector of Zoey as the Blue Knight (at least I think he is), he somehow manages to balance professional aloofness and emotional involvement. He is debonair, charming and has the potential to be an amazing boyfriend to some fabulous girl in the series.

4. Haku from Spirited Away: If you haven't seen this movie you need to see it! Not only does he have all the stand-offish but totally caring charm of Elliot, he also has the whole wounded spirit but trying to be strong thing going on, that I am totally a sucker for. The fact that he is actually a river spirit and therefore possesses some killer magical powers does not take away from his awesome beauty either.

3. Jasper Hale: I know he's a vampire, from Twilight no less, but allow me to indulge in this guilty pleasure. I admire his desire to lead a "vegetarian" (non-human eating) vampire dieting experience and the strength he displays in being around Bella even though it is extremely hard for him. His silent charisma and old school charms and looks strike a chord in me that is devastatingly powerful and the indescribable love for and immense loyalty he has towards Alice is simply beautiful.

2. Fred Weasley: Every girl loves a guy that can make her laugh and Fred Weasly from Harry Potter signifies that guy for me. He and his twin, George are the ultimate practical jokesters and are also really well known for their mischievous and sometimes rebellious ways. Fred defies authority in almost every chance he gets and is not the kind of person to take things lying down. He is brave, courageous and not afraid to take risks. He is also incredibly street smart and has a clear idea of what he wants and how to get it. He is my tragic hero (spoiler).

1. Dr. Spencer Reid: I would really love to be able to say that my love is for the actor that plays his character, the amazingly gifted and talented Matthew Gray Gubler but right now this is just not true. While I am attracted to Matthew, the butterflies in my belly, sweaty palms and heart palpitations that I experience when he comes onto the screen in an episode of Criminal Minds are not for him, but for the loveably innocent but extremely well-read Dr. Reid. At the age of 24, he had already acquired 3 PHDs, a couple of Bachelors and a couple of years with the FBI's Behavioural Analysis Unit under his belt. Couple that with the fact that he can read about 20000 words per minute and has an IQ of 187 ( making him a genius) , one would imagine that he would be immensely arrogant and totally unapproachable. But he isn't and in fact the opposite is true. He is socially awkward and quite unaware of his potential appeal to women. He is not perfect and he does not pretend or claim to be. He constantly gets hurt on the job because he is willing

to put himself out there and sacrifice himself for his team. Although he comes from a difficult background he has a strong capacity to love and even after years of seeing

disturbing things and having experiences that may have broken a weaker man he is not desensitized and still has the ability to feel.

These characters possess certain qualities that really appeal to me and although they may be exaggerated in these fictional characters, these are some characteristics that I believe would attract me to The One for me.

(Photo from : Criminal Minds Fanatic )

Love you all and Stay Inspired,

P.S. So let me know what you think. What fictional characters have appealed to you in the past? Which ones appeal to you now? Why? Feel free to let me know in the comments below.

P.P.S I'm overloading this semester with 20 credit hours and last week and this week are my midterm weeks. I will continue to blog and I promise to get caught up with all my regular posts over the course of this week. I've been doing some technical work on this blog, that I will release to you all ASAP.

Guest post at Here I Scribble: Healing a Broken Heart

Photo from: mohsenmasoumi

Dearest Devotees,

My darling DT just recently published a love guest post I did for her blog, Here I scribble! It's sort of a lyrical summary of my last Life's Little Lessons Post. You can check out my guest post here and feel free to let me know what you think about it, either here or on her blog. Thanks darlings!

Love you all and Stay inspired,

Love and Relationships: Music therapy- Self Encouragement

Photo from: tumblr

In truth, I am my own harshest critic. I forgive myself last, judge my decisions too strictly and forget all too often that I'm only human, and therefore am allowed to make mistakes and take a fall. This all makes for a defeated take on life and shows a lack of love of self. If we don't love ourselves we make it hard for others to love us because then they have to show us the good in ourselves and prove their love. This is why whenever I find I'm feeling defeated or despairing I turn on my self encouragement soundtrack. It always gets me back on my feet and charges me with energy and drive. Here are the songs as well as the major message I get from each:

One More by Superchick: The first step is usually the hardest but once you get going you've already won the battle to achieve success.

I Want Everything by Hope 7: You can achieve all your dreams, just get ready to reach.

It's my life by Jon Bon Jovi: Carpe Diem i.e. seize the day.

In the end by Linkin Park: In the end it doesn't really matter if you fall along the way, as long you get where you want to be.

Go by Boys Like Girls: Everyday is a chance for a new beginning.

With Arms Wide Open by Creed: Be open to opportunity and new experiences.

The list changes occassionally but some of these songs have been there since I was 10.After all a really good song will always be a really good song. The basic idea is to make sure that the list has songs with meaningful lyrics a beat that energizes and motivates you.

Love you all and Stay inspired,

P.S. So let me know what you think. Do you have some songs you listen to for encouragement or motivation? What are they? Have they changed over time? Why do you like them? Feel free to let me know in the comments below.

A day in the life: Love to Haiti

Photo from: Lauren Marek

Dearest Devotees,

In Faith and Hope the world will disagree, But all mankind's concern is charity.

Author: Alexander PopeSource: Essay on Man (ep. III, l. 307)

The devastation in Haiti is absolutely heartbreaking. These people truly need our help. Give whatever you can to them, and trust that it will be deeply appreciated. There are so many different organisations you can give the money to and if we all give a little it will be enough. Please keep Haiti in your hearts and in your prayers.

Love you all and Stay inspired,

P.S. Here is a list of some organisations that are helping Haiti.

Love and Relationships- Music Therapy part 3- Working through a break-up

If you haven't already, you can read the prequels to this post, Music Therapy part 1 and 2 here.

Music has always been a big part of my life. From the little girl that used to sing Pocahontas songs in front of her dad's friends ( I've seen pictures!!!) to the young adult that now writes songs and records music, I've always seen it as a way to express myself. The lyrics, the voices, the instruments, everything just connects with me deeply. This is why, when I go through a break-up, I try to ease the pain and speed up the healing process by listening to a certain soundtrack that I've compiled as my 'break-up soundtrack'. I've been using these songs for a couple of years now and I can honestly say they help me put everything into perspective.

The track has two parts: the first is made up of all Mariah Carey songs and is sort of a quick summary of the whole process; the second is made up of Kelly Clarkson songs and lets me go through process at a slower rate. By the second part, I've usually pulled myself together. The songs are:

• It's like that-Mariah Carey: When I listen to this song I remember the first time 'we' met ('we' in reference to the guy and I). It reminds me of the excitement, the interest, the chemical attraction, the frisson from across the room and the sense that you've just met someone with the ability to impact your life in a big way. I'm usually pretty upset at this part but it helps me acknowledge the reality of the situation.


• We belong together- same singer: By this point I just let myself feel the pain and allow the grieving to take place.
  
• Shake it off- same singer: This song shows me that I need to get back on my feet and move on with life.


• Because of you-Kelly Clarkson: This is when I'm just blaming him for the demise of the relationship. It's a lot of anger, but mostly hurt.


• Behind these Hazel Eyes-Kelly Clarkson : This is when I sort of fantasize the relationship, making it out to be perfect when it wasn't. Here I ask myself how I'll be able to live without him. I feel only hurt here.


• Since you been gone-Kelly Clarkson:This is all about how much better I feel now that I'm without him. It's all anger but it also signals that I'm beginning to move on.


• Breakaway-Kelly Clarkson:This is when I start to picture myself as ready to move on, by letting go of all the bad feelings.
  
• Walk away-Kelly Clarkson : This song symbolises complete freedom of the relationship, and total independence. It's when I feel like I no longer need to stalk his facebook page, or follow his twitter, or hang on to any of the threads of the relationship. Total liberation!

Now, I'm not saying that by simply going through this soundtrack I become magically healed. After all, these things do take time. It's like I said before, I see it as a form of therapy and one that isn't going to break my bank or tip my scales anytime soon.

(Photo from: bored-now)

Love you all and Stay inspired,

P.S. So let me know what you think. What's your favorite form of therapy? How do you get through a breakup? What songs would be on your 'break-up soundtrack'? Feel free to let me know in the comments below.

Love and Relationships: Destiny, the One and Kindred spirits

I know it's been awhile since I've posted an L&R post but that's because I have just not been moved to do so. After all, this is a personal blog and it reflects me and my experiences no matter how indirectly they are linked sometimes. Basically, I'm single again and working on getting myself back on track while trying to maintain and improve the relationships I've developed with my lovely friends in Boston. It's partially because of good experiences with these friends and because of the song of the week: Collide by Howie Day (see: Seeking Inspiration: Collide ), that I now feel ready to explore this topic.

Like I mentioned before, Collide is essentially about two people with different personalities, realising that it is their differences that make them so good for each other, and this led me to think about the concepts of destiny and fate. I mean they are such popular concepts used in all sorts of media to idealise love, both romantic and otherwise. From magazine articles to popular romantic comedies, people are shown as constantly looking for 'The One', i.e. the person that each person is supposed to spend their life. Sometimes they get so immersed in this search they forgot that their life is actually taking place while they search and is not on hold. They forget that even if there is a special person that they are destined to be with, and they do find this person (and I hope everyone does), you can't depend solely on this person to make you happy.

I believe that you have to take responsibility of your own happiness and this can partly be done by ensuring you also find true friends that will stick with you through the good times and the bad. I mean I am definitely yet to meet my 'One' but I'm pretty sure I've met quite a few people that represent these true friends for me. In fact, there have been times when, at first glance I meet someone, and we seem total opposites, but as I get to know the person I soon realise that we have more things in common than we don't. I like to call these people my 'kindred spirits' because if and when they become your really close friends, they tend to understand you in a way that few others can and knowing that such people exist can give you a sense of belonging and support that you will always need whether you are in a romantic relationship or not.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that, its really good to believe that you were destined to be someone special but I'm pretty sure you will love life more if you strive to grow in your friendships and work on your hobbies while growing in your romantic relationships.

Love you all and Stay inspired,




P.S. So let me know what you think. Do you believe in love at first sight? Destiny? Have you ever met a kindred spirit? How did you meet? Have you met the one? How did you know? Feel free to let me know in the comments below.
(Photo from: Shanissinha)

Life's a Debate: What's the rush? Married couples in middle school

I just came off of this Seventeen magazine forum where a 17-year old girl was asking people what they thought about her recent engagement to be married. She wanted to know if they thought that she was too young and if they were married or engaged. She got a LOT of replies. Most of which said that she wasn't too young as long as she is in love, and that 17 is fine to get married. Going through the responses, I found at that quite a few of these responses came from girls aged 14-18 that were either engaged, married or considering it.

This has got to be the single most shocking thing I've seen this week, and that includes the whole Tiger Woods/possible mistress situation.

I mean have I really been away from the United States for so long? Because, when I left 8 years ago I really don't think I had any friends that had older siblings in high school that were engaged or married. Then again, maybe I was just oblivious to this now entirely too interesting trend. I In my junior high and high school equivalent, marriage was definitely not an issue, for me or any of my school mates at least while in the secondary school (grades 7-12), and usually for a couple of years after that as well. Even now, I personally can not imagine, at the age of 18, getting ready for my own wedding. And even in the year I spent at my old university, I really didn't know anyone with serious wedding plans, and most of the people I knew were at least in their 20s.

I don't see what the rush is about? I can't speak for anyone but myself but even though I was very happily in a relationship for almost a year, the thought of getting married then was not even in my mind. And no, it was not because I am entirely unromantic and just want to be alone forever. My reasons were and still are:

1. I don't want to do anything as important and wonderful as marriage halfway. When I do get married I want to be in it for the long haul and be willing and able to devote myself to making it work.

2. I am still learning new things about myself and trying to understand myself right now. If I don't know and understand myself, how can I help someone to understand me?

3. I have a lot of goals and ambitions that require a lot of commitment and like I said in #1, I don't like to do things halfway. Right now, I have things I want to experience, places I want to go, and goals I want to achieve and now is the time to be able to put my all into them without distraction so that later I will have no regrets. When I am ready for a family and marriage, my husband and family will get my undivided attention and will always come first for me.

I just feel that if you love someone, as in really love someone there is no need to rush into marriage, especially if you are not really sure about who you are yet and what you want out of life. True love never dies and if you are sure the person you want to marry is the one for you, the person will still be the one for you in a couple of years when you are both more independent, stronger and more self aware.

Once again, I can only speak for myself. I really want to know more about the other point of view and people's reasons for getting married in their teens and early 20s (21, 22).

Love you all and Stay inspired,

P.S. So let me know what you think? Would you get married in your teens? Are you married or engaged? How do you do everyday life as a young married couple (especially if you're 15 or 16). And what ever happened to promise rings? Feel free to let me know in the comments below.